How Can White People Become Stronger Racial Justice Allies?

by Stacy L. Schroeder


Many whites who seek to learn about racial justice, including adoptive parents and partners or siblings of adoptees, have no idea where to start. That is not surprising. These issues are so deeply embedded in our societal history that it can feel impossible to parse them out. The abundance of books and resources on the topic can also make choosing materials a challenge.

Do not allow uncertainty of where to begin scare you off. The only wrong way is not to start at all.

Since its inception, the United States has been driven by the perspectives and experiences of white people, especially white men. As part of this, white people are used to taking charge of situations. Don’t do that as an ally. When you do, you center yourself and your voice, continuing the pattern. Instead, start by listening and learning.

Learn about yourself

Potential allies can benefit by first examining themselves. What are your biases and blind spots? These checklists can help you identify where you might need to grow and improve:

Learn about systemic racism and related issues

The teaching burden should not be on your black and brown friends or an adoptee in your family. Some may choose to do so but it is not their responsibility just because of their skin color. Expecting such a tutorial is once again centering yourself and may be invasive or fatiguing for them.

Seek out good resources instead. Don’t know a term? Google it. While not everything you read will make sense at first, I promise you over time more things will stick.

Begin by learning about white privilege. You cannot push back on something you do not understand. We whites are so steeped in the system that, despite good intentions, we often cannot see it clearly. Recognize you are part of a system you did not create but from which you benefit. You may feel defensive. Lean into those sore spots. Here are some powerful pieces to help knock down that institutional wall:

Additional beginning resources:

I also highly recommend attending a conference like KAAN where you can wrestle with these concepts in person alongside others committed to doing the same. At KAAN, you will also hear about the unique intersectionality of race, adoption, and other aspects of identity in the lives of adoptees. KAAN offers this list of resources from the adoptee perspective.

Adjust your behavior

Once you have some knowledge under your belt, concentrate on improving your actions. What did those checklists on your biases and blind spots point out? Here are some key aspects on which to focus:

  • Use inclusive language. You may hear “but we’ve always said it that way” as a defense for sticking to the familiar. Guess what? That may mean there are people who have always felt excluded and less worthy.

  • Learn how to say unfamiliar names appropriately. Even if you mess up at first, people will see you value them. Don’t make a joke about stumbling over pronunciation to cover up embarrassment.

  • It is the impact that matters, not your intent. For people who experience numerous microaggressions each day, your comment does not stand alone. If you accidentally kick a bruise, you apologize because you caused discomfort. You accept responsibility for adding to the pain and make a point to avoid repeating that action in the future. It should be no different with your words.

  • Watch out for cultural appropriation versus genuine appreciation. Don’t commercialize or objectify a culture as a commodity. That includes dressing as an “Indian” or “geisha girl” at Halloween, choosing “mission” trips to orphanages in other countries where photo-ops overshadow meaningful, lasting relief for those supposedly being helped, and posting social media images of yourself at protests to show how “woke” you are. Instead, ask: how can I authentically engage in and support what is already going on?

  • Look at current events through fresh eyes. Gather news from multiple sources to gain insight beyond your own echo chamber into other influential platforms. Develop an awareness: how do I feel when I hear about [insert latest news or incident]? Is that the same way my black and brown neighbors might feel? How might this be impacting my friends and family who are adoptees? What might they need from me?

  • Participate in this 21-day racial equity challenge.